My Dad died this summer and I haven’t really felt up for much so I thought I’d take a break from my Banff, Canada posts and start here. I’ve been feeling better since my trip to California to visit my Aunt and cousins. In fact, my cousin, her kid, and my Aunt spent time with my Dad in NY about a month before he passed. They felt bad for not going to the funeral but we felt it was better to end on the note of their trip. The wake and funeral were very small. Only 2 other relatives live in NYC except my immediate family.
It all went down kind of fast and that’s all I care about. My Dad slowed down a lot the past 2 years but he was doing good for his age and condition. We were looking into long term care to prepare for when things get more advanced. I’ve been stressing since the beginning of the year for the day I had to give him the talk about needing a wheelchair or walker.
It was $5 Tuesdays at Loew’s, meaning movie day (we’d go every Tuesday if there was stuff we were interested in seeing)! My mom, dad and I went to see Ant Man & the Wasp. In June, Vic and I went to Sao Miguel in the Azores and my Dad perked up before this trip. When we got back he was still pretty good. This particular movie day he seemed a bit off but like an off day that he usually had once in a while. At the end of the movie things turned, so much so an ambulance had to be called. Turns out, he had some major shit going on.
My Dad died within 15 hours of admittance. It turned out he had a lot of necrotic intestines, an abdominal aortic aneurysm which burst but was contained, and his dead intestines ripped and were leaking stool into his body. So basically he was dying. My one regret is going home for 4 hours because in that time he lost consciousness. Before I left, I told him I loved him and was just getting some things from home and I’ll be back. I should have taken a cab back right away. He died while I was in a car headed back to Manhattan. I’ll focus on his fast death which means very little suffering. I’ve known people who were sick for years and suffered. How we didn’t know about the neurotic intestines is baffling because I’ve been told it hurts like hell. But my theory along with my friends in the medical field think his dementia made him not understand his pain or forget about it and he probably hid it too (he’s one of those guys who suck it up).
California was a good trip. It was fun and a much needed break. We didn’t really dwell on my Dad’s death, just hung out with my relatives. My Aunt is very happy he didn’t suffer as am I. I haven’t felt like writing for a while and this trip sparked it gain so I’ll start here and leave the rest of Canada and the Azores posts till later.
We walked into a few stores and art galleries in Laguna Beach and walked along the beach. It was a quiet day with great weather. The sun gets really hot but the wind feels nice. I just realized we didn’t take many pics in Laguna.
I almost forgot, they took us to lunch in Santa Ana. My cousin was looking up authentic places to eat. This lunch place was very authentic. My cousin is funny, he said, “I’m gonna take you to the ghetto for authentic Mexican.” Of course, Vic and I were drooling with those words because those are the neighborhoods with the best food. That’s how we like to travel. As long as the neighborhood is “safe enough” to us, we’ll go and get some authentic grub. But if you aren’t comfy doing that stuff, don’t do it. Always travel in a way that makes you feel safe, we felt fine but because we felt fine doesn’t mean you will feel fine so go with what you know and travel safe. We drove there, ate and left.